The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
