I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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