I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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