i was rollin on her like bob the builder
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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