You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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