he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
