how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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