Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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