i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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