It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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