if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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