So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I need water and some morals
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
