i don't plan on having that self control this summer
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
