They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
