We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
