I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
