is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Then you guys just all showered together...?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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