Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
