After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Randomize
