Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(810): View more from Michigan

The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!

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(313): View more from Michigan

nut hugger

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(224): View more from Illinois

Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.

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(512): View more from Texas

Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man

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(678): View more from Georgia

I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count

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(504): View more from Louisiana

As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!

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(804): View more from Virginia

Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT

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(253): View more from Washington

I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?

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