Porn is love you can see.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
