You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
