yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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