so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
