I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
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