How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
