We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
