We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
