he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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