either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
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