I can feel you judging me through the phone.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
You are the jesus of drinking
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
