Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
smell my finger.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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