I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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