i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
