I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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