i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Randomize
