You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
