did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
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