Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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