Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
