I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
