butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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