JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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