Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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