"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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