On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
