He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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