I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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