I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
