If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
