yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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