Sacagawea was the original milf.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Someone signed my nipple.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
