mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
