if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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