I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
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