I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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